The beauty of the Broken-hearted
by Papercuts and Butterflies
Summary: A half year after Edward left Bella in New Moon. She is heartbroken and has no idea how to move on. Everything is just coming crashing down on her - until she hears a voice she never thought she should hear again. Will the comfort and love Alice gives her, be enough to save her and heal her broken heart? BellaxAlice. Rated M for later adult scenarios.
1. Chapter 1 - Better lost than to be seen

**Disclaimer: **The characters is rightfully owned by Stephanie Meyer.**  
**This is only the first chapter which hasn't been edited at all. So if there's any grammar mistakes or misspellings then say so. I appreciate any help, okay? (':  
And please understand that this is the first fan fiction I've ever written in English.

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_A half year after Edward left her in New Moon._ _She __is heartbroken and has no idea how to move on. Everything is just coming crashing down on her - until she hears a voice she never thought she should hear again.  
_

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Chapter one

With every breath, with every day, with every nightmare, the yearning for _him_ grew bigger and even more unbearable. It felt like years since he caressed my cheek for the last time, so gently. His lips on mine, his angelic voice. These images in my head, the memories of our finger intertwined, got me breaking down every night. And this night was no different.

I lay in my bed – just like every other night. I heard the unlocking sound of the door downstairs, knowing Charlie just got home.

He was dead worried about me, I knew that, and that made me even more miserable. Since he left, my life has been hell on earth.  
It's been half a year and nothing has changed.  
"Bells?"  
I heard my dad's voice, calling for me. "Food's on the table, are you coming?" I had to carry on for my dad. So with ghostly movements I got out of bed and wandered down the stairs.  
I must look like a mess – with the dark rings of insomnia under my eyes, the uncared-for hair and my skin, as pale as _his_ was.  
As always, we ate in silence. We fit together, me and Charlie. It was never awkward, being around each other and saying nothing at all. He knew I wasn't in the mood to talk – I haven't been for a long time.

His voice broke the silence. "Your mom called,"  
I looked up from the plate. Charlie's cooking skills had never been the best, that's why I used to cook, but right after school, I just go to bed and let myself dwell in the misery.  
And to be honest, what I ate wasn't my biggest concern. "Yeah?" Was all I managed to say.  
"She's worried about you, you know? Well, so am I." He started. I tried to cut him off, "Dad," but he continued. "She wants you to come back. To her and Phil."  
I stuttered, trying to get the words out in the right way, without sounding desperate.  
"Dad, please. I want to live here -" But he interrupted me, "Bells, we both know you're not happy here. I don't know how to handle this – the whole heartbreak-thing – and I think it might be the best for you."

I had no idea what to say. I was speechless. I didn't want to leave. What if _he_ came back?  
Then I wouldn't be here and I would have wasted my last chance to get him back. No way. I left the table, my face showing how displeased I was.  
"Goodnight," I muttered as I went upstairs. I heard him sigh my name but right now I was too upset to care. I changed into my comfortable pajamas, trying to calm myself down.  
Of course he wouldn't send me away, right? All the way to Florida, such long way from where we had all our memories.  
When he held me tight while I was drifting to sleep and I woke up to his calm, familiar voice. I could recognize his voice between a thousand others and I would give anything, do anything, just to hear it once. One word would be enough. To hear that flawless voice call out my name would be so satisfying.  
I jumped into bed, it was almost 10'o'clock. I had learned from the past half year that sleep didn't come to me easily. Only the steady rhythm of his chest raising and dropping could lull her to sleep. Now all I got is the imagination.  
Every night I cuddle up with my duvet, trying to find comfort by picturing that it's _him_ holding me tight. It's all that I have left of him; the pictures in my head.  
I close my eyes. Normally I would cry my heart out, but tonight I can't. I feel the throbbing hole in my chest, growing bigger every day, but right now it's numb.  
Not like it's healed but more like I'm coming to accept the fact that _he's _not here any longer. I just hope, with all the scattered pieces of my heart, that one day I can live with the pain. Deal with it without being broken.

"But how can I when you are my first, my last and my everything?" Just as I thought no tears would come tonight, I feel the prickle behind my eyelids. I try to push it away, but it's just not working. Nothing is working anymore.  
So I let them fall, the bitter tears, as they stream down my face. I squeeze the duvet closer to me as I try not to sob like a little child.  
But God, how much easier it would be to be a little girl again whose biggest concern was to get mom to buy the most beautiful doll for Christmas and biggest pain was the scratch on your knee when you fell down from the tree in your backyard.  
Suddenly something, someone, knocked on my window. My eyes flew open, still wet with tears, I rushed to the window. It was already too dark outside to see anything so with shaking hands I opened up the window.  
A single flower of hope grew in my heart. Edward used to do stuff like that – come to me in the dark of the night just to see me. But of course it wasn't him. It couldn't be. I sighed and jumped into bed, but without knowing why, I left the window open.

"_Bella?"  
_In the chaos of my dreams, I recognized a voice. A voice in which I found comfort and associated with a joyful smile, pixie-hair and a girlish laughter. It resounded again, the exact same voice which spoke out my name before.  
Slowly I floated out of my dream-world and into the world I knew better than anything else – the real world. That world where _he_ had left me. My eyes flickered open and if I hadn't reached out to touch her arm, I still would've thought I was dreaming. But there she was. Her skin was ice cold but the nicest thing I'd touched for so many months.

"Alice, is it really you?" I was stunned. Totally unable to do anything but stare at her with disbelief. A reassuring smile slid over her lips as she nodded.  
"Yes, Bella, of course it's me – who else would it be?"


	2. Chapter 2 - New for you

**Chapter 2 – New for you**

**Author's note: **Hey you guys. I had a lot of trouble finding someone to beta-read this chapter but at last I found somebody, which I really appreciate. I hope you enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoy writing it. And if there's anyone who wants to beta-read the next chapter then tell me, okay? I could need the help.  
And as you may have noticed, the titles of the chapters are lyrics from the Breaking Dawn part 2 soundtrack (':  
Enjoy!

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"Alice, I'm so glad to see you!" My voice almost cracked and just as I had cried before with misery, tears were now spilling down my cheeks, but now, radiant with joy. I didn't even think twice about throwing my arms around her and pulling her into me, the opposite of gently, fairly crushing her against me.  
"I missed you," Alice whispered against my messy hair. Her body just as cold as ever and hard as stone, but what did it matter? All that mattered was that she was here. On my bed with me.  
Happiness flowed in my veins, making me almost high on life. When I'd held her close for several minutes, I pulled my arms back. I could imagine my eyes were red by the weeping.

"But why—why are you here?" I looked at her, puzzled. She was just as gorgeous as ever. The ink black hair swirling around her goddess-face, long lashes surrounding the gold-painted eyes and just as ever, she was dressed in fashionable clothing. Her shirt was made out of black fabric which was nearly transparent with a lace-bra under. The shirt was stuck into her high-waist jeans which clung to her slim legs.

"It's a long story," she said as she smiled but this wasn't the usual Alice-smile. It hid something behind it and made me wonder.  
"Tell me, Alice. Please." I almost begged, taking her hands in mine. Our knees touched and somehow it sent a chill through my body.  
We sat across from each other and I could see Alice hated what she was about to say.  
"It's Jasper," she almost spit out the words, her voice covered in dismay. "The other evening he accidentally attacked a girl and killed her – and now he won't stop. I mean… "  
"He won't feed on animals anymore?" I blurted out. She nodded once.  
"Wow, that's horrible," I mumbled. Consoling had never been my forte but I tried anyway. Alice was usually so cheerful and confident, so seeing her like this, underlined how downhearted she actually was, though she tried to force a smile on her lips.  
"And the worst part is that Edward totally freaked out and they got into a fight. I thought Jasper knew better, Bella. I never thought he'd do such thing as getting into a fight with his own brother, so now I just don't know. I tried to talk to him, but he just ignored me like I didn't even existed. "  
Hearing _his _name sent an electric-shock through my body and left me somewhat dizzy-headed. But I pretended like nothing, as I try to make sense of Alice's whirlwind of words. Alice clenched her hands into fists on my lap and I just nodded, stroking the back of her hand with my thumb, as she continued to talk.  
"So I came here. I… I really don't know why but we're friends, right? So I can come if I feel like it, right?" She said. I nodded. "Of course, Alice. You're welcome anytime." I enforced a smile on my lips.  
Being in her company reminded me of _those _times, of _him_, but somehow the hole that had been punched through my chest when _he_ left became smaller, at least I had no trouble breathing when she was here.  
A faint smile appeared on her face. "I hope I'm not hurting you further by being here. You know, after _that_." Of course I knew what she referred to. Open old wounds and such. The truth was; the wounds weren't old. They were still bleeding or they used to. Now that she's here, I feel so much better. Seeing her is filling out the enormous gap in my heart.  
"No, no. Don't worry. It's great you are here." But asked, "Did you run all the way from wherever you were?" But before I even noticed she was gone, I heard her voice saying "Pretend like you're sleeping."  
I'll never get used to how fast they move. One second they can stand in front of you and in the flash of a moment they are a half a mile away. But I jumped under the blanket and closed my eyes, just in time before I heard the cracking noise of the door opening.  
Charlie had no reason to check on me like this every night, I've no plans of either committing suicide or running away from home.

Suddenly I felt the minor weight of Alice on my legs and I couldn't help but giggle before I attempted to kick her off. I heard her laugh as she took a firm grip around my thighs.  
"Get off!" I chuckled while wriggling, but of course I was no match for her at all. I might as well just give up already, but that would ruin all the fun. Somehow I managed to turn so I was facing her, sitting on my tummy, watching me.  
I unexpectedly lay still. Even in the dark her beauty was stunning. Her silhouette so perfectly shaped and without noticing, it got closer. She leaned over me till I could sense her cool breath on my lips. Having her this close did something to me in a way I could attempt to describe but knowing I would fail. For the past six months I've been in this trance – I did what I had to, what I was asked, did it without questioning. On the inside, the dark had swallowed me and only at night I could allow myself to fall apart, but now she was here, I could all of a sudden breathe, without feeling the aching in my chest.  
"Since the first time I saw you, I've wanted to tell you something," The intensity of her voice caught me off guard.  
She smelled nothing like _him _but still so familiar_. _His smell was manly, but still so sweet – and that sweetness, the scent of floras, they both possessed, nonetheless hers was more sugary.  
"W…What?" I managed to say, noticing how my heart raced, trying to break out from my rib cage.  
_Chill, Bella, it's only Alice, _I reassured myself, but somehow that didn't make me calm down. Of course she was the definition of beauty but she was a girl. A girl who was my ex's sister, well, not blood-related, but still. I've never been attracted to girl or at least never given it a thought.  
Before I met _him_, sexuality hadn't really mattered. But now it was like my heart was about to explode and I found it impossible to catch my breath.  
"You're beautiful, and you know, I always wanted to kiss a girl" And before I could even react, I felt the chillness of her lips on mine.  
Without giving it a single thought, I wrapped my arms around her, making sure she could not go as I kissed back. I should freak out, I should push her away, but for the first time in such a long time I felt alive.


	3. Chapter 3 - Soul, sing out your songs

**Authors note**: Hey everybody. How are you today? I hope you are all great. It took a long time to finish this and to be honest, only half the text has been beta-read. So I hope there are not too many mistakes.  
And seriously, guys? Send me some ideas or requests. I could totally need it.

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This couldn't be happening.  
Was I actually kissing Alice? The girl who'd been my closest friend for such a long time, how could I be kissing her? My heart was racing and my mind couldn't really catch up with what was happening. Her lips on mine, crushing against each other.  
The feeling of her cold skin against mine sent chills down my spine but I knew I couldn't do this – I shouldn't. We were both hurt, me because of Edward and her because of Jasper's sudden turn-around in the aspect of being a 'vegetarian'.  
But maybe that made a good match? Both wounded and needed to take comfort in something.  
Her hands started wandering, traveling to places where her hands weren't meant to be. I belonged to Edward, didn't I? In heart, soul and body, I was his, though he wasn't mine. A tender touch of my breast made my breath accelerate and I gasped her name.  
"Alice, no.. No, this is totally wrong."  
"What's wrong in giving yourself over to pleasure?" Alice sounded so settled. Like there was nothing wrong with this but I saw too many reasons why we shouldn't be doing this.  
I sighed and pushed her gently away – I hated knowing I might hurt her even more than she already was but I knew this was for the best.  
"Everything," I could clearly hear how high my voice was and I would be lying if I said I wasn't upset about the situation. "How could we do that when everything is so screwed up, I mean, about Jasper and how I feel for _him_ and you're his sister and…" I stopped talking when I suddenly realized that she was gone. Without a sound she must have jumped out of the window.

And once again I was all by myself in the dark room.  
But just for her I let the window stay opened in case she wanted to come back but somehow I doubted that.

Days went by without the sight of Alice and I started to grow more and more nervous but what could possibly have happened to her? I mean, she's a vampire; it's got to take a lot to crumble her fashion-dresses. I went to school as usual and nothing special happened. Just a normal, unbearable day in Forks and as like always I ate lunch with Jessica, Mike, Angela and some of their friends whom I didn't even made an effort to get to know.  
There was a good atmosphere in the cafeteria, people chattered and laughed loudly which I had taught myself to switch off.

"So Bella, are you over Mr. Perfect now? It's been six months, right?" Jessica giggled and I almost choked on my apple. Mike hissed at her. They were together now, like really together and I couldn't help but feeling bad for him. I mean, Jessica? Since Edward left, she'd tried her best to ignore me and when she absolutely had to talk to me, she just had to remind me of what I struggled to forget.  
"I… I…." I tried to come up with a good comeback-answer but I was just too upset. Oh, those memories, they tumbled down on me and pushing them away was no easy task.

"No, Jessica, in fact I'm not and you just managed to mess it up even more."  
With those words, I marched out of the cafeteria. First when I got out in my truck, I allowed myself to break. Her words had hit me so hard and I haven't been prepared at all. I flung my arms around myself, holding on to what was left of me, hoping for the mental pictures to fade away soon. Our first kiss, I remembered it so well. I'd been yearning for more; I wanted him in every way possible. But now all that was gone and the only reason for me to keep carrying on was to keep an eye on my father. My mom was good – she had Phil.  
But my dad had nothing, just like me. Maybe some people were meant to be alone and that's why he and I were so well-fitted for living together.  
I'd apologized to him for behaving badly when he suggested that I could move in with mom again and he had just nodded. I guess he didn't want me to move either? Somehow that made me feel worth something – and something is definitely better than nothing.

However I had to carry on because of my last promise to _him_. He had made me promise that I wouldn't do anything reckless and breaking a promise was something I'd never felt like doing. But what did it matter to him, anyway? He'd just moved, like the times we spent together had meant nothing to him.  
So why did he care? He left so I am free to do whatever the hell I want.  
That's where the problem came; I felt like doing nothing. The only thing I was able to do was to sit in my room, read and do my homework. Everything else seemed pointless. I was nothing like Jessica who would go partying and get drunk if she lost her boyfriend.  
I didn't have the courage or neither did I have the desire. You may call it pathetic but after all, that's just my way to cope.

I leaned my head to the steering wheel with closed eyes, feeling the chilly surface against my forehead, reminding me of how cold their skin was – how icy Alice's lips had felt against mine.  
"Alice," I said in a whisper. I had to admit; I missed her. That way she made me feel, is a feeling that probably never will come back. But the kiss, it didn't have to change anything, did it? It was just a kiss when we were both hurting, a fucked up way to feel better. I wanted and needed her to come back; she couldn't just mess with my mind and then leave afterwards.

I sighed and leaned back into the seat when I got the feeling that I wasn't alone. I turned my head and I nearly screamed in shock when I saw who was sitting next to me.  
"Alice?!" Easy to hear how surprised I was, but it was a pleasant surprise. I had no idea how she'd come into the car without making any noise but when you are running with vampires, you are required to be open for surprises.


	4. Chapter 4 - More than I can take

**Chapter four - More than I can take**

**Authors Note**: Hey you guys. I got this review where someone said that the fan fiction was homophobic – seriously. I'm gay myself and I won't hear anything like that again. It's actually quite frustrating when I'm working so hard to create something and I put a lot of effort into this. But I hope I haven't hurt anybody's feelings and even if I have, I want you to read the story again. Bella sees nothing wrong with being gay, but she definitely thinks it's wrong to make out with Alice when she still loves Edward. It's a little shorter this chapter, but you'll live, right?  
Haha, hope you'll enjoy. Hugs from the author A.K.A Trine.

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Her bright eyes shined like diamonds and she looked just as flawless as always. I could tell that she had been out hunting recently because her eyes were clear and no sign of dark rings under her them. She looked worried, I must look like shit after my minor anxiety attack but I could only imagine.  
She reached for me, her hand moving little by little to my cheek, obviously testing me, and what really shocked me was that I wanted her to touch me – I yearned to feel the cool touch of her fingertips and it couldn't be soon enough.  
"Alice, I'm so–" I whispered quickly, but before I could finish my sentence, her lips had collided with mine. Not the gentle, fragile way that _he _used to kiss me but so much more passionate – like we only had this one kiss back and it would not be taken for granted.  
Her breath smelled and tasted like mint – like the boiled sweets I used to buy as younger when me and mom went to the funfair. It left me light-headed but just as fast as she'd kissed me, just as soon did she stop.  
I could feel my cheeks burning, imagining just how bright red they were, one of the things I hated about myself; how human I was and how human I always would be. I blinked, staring at her with eyes wide opened. Amazed. Alice's face was still close to mine, only a couple of inches and her hand still caressed my cheek.  
The hair on my arms rose as I shivered with untainted excitement. I'd never experienced that before, being kissed with such desire and I would be a big liar if I said that I didn't want more. And she knew that, I could tell by the smirk on her lips.

"Fuck, Bella…" Her voice was stained with deep desire and in some way it scared me. I mean I was this sexually-confused virgin who'd only kissed one guy in my entire life and he broke my heart and now his sister – who actually already had a boyfriend – tried to seduce me. Complicated?  
Yes indeed and I didn't really feel secure about it. I wanted to get lost in her, I wanted to let myself get carried away by her, but my mind wouldn't allow it. I was too messed up and just not over _him_ and I owed her an explanation.

"Alice, please listen to me -" I saw her face twist into a discontented grimace. "And don't leave," I hurried to say as I continued,  
"But I'm just not ready for this. I'm not over _him_, and yeah, you have Jasper. I can't have a whole family of vampires chasing me down – not again." I tried to smile but it soon faded when I saw her expression. It was safe to say that she was upset and fought against something, whether it was pain, desire or anger I could only guess.  
"I'm sorry, Alice," was all I could say and somehow I felt a piece of my heart getting ripped out of my chest when she drew back her hand. For a second she stared out of the window and that's when I realized that I actually had classes. Well I only had one after lunch so I might as well just go home as I guessed it would be over soon.  
The silence grew awkward – I hated awkward silences and I heaved a sigh. Was I really about to ruin my friendship with Alice?  
I felt like the stupidest person on Earth as I just sat there; watching her, waiting for her to say something, do something – anything that would make the awkward mood vanish. I figured that soon she would jump out of the car and disappear once again.  
Her expression was stiff and unreadable – I had no idea what she was thinking. It was weird how a mood could change so fast. A minute ago we'd been making out and now we didn't even dare talking to each other.  
I decided to do something. We couldn't just sit here. So I turned the key and kicked my truck started, she could leave if that was she wanted.  
But she just sat there, still looking like a statue, as we drove out of the parking lot and towards my house. I bit my lip, my patience was slowly running out. I should break the silence but how? I still hadn't figured out how when we arrived at the house.

"Alice," I breathed but my voice cracked. I coughed once, trying to gather some courage. She turned her face to me, expecting me to continue. "Would you like to come in?" Too scared of her response, I hurry out of the car and walks toward the door.

As I turn my head, I see her right behind me, a little smile twisting the corner of her mouth.


	5. Chapter 5 - Love's the sweetest feeling

**Chapter five - Love's the sweetest feeling**

**Authors note: **Hey beautiful you's. How are you today? I hope you're doing great!  
In this chapter we will be looking out of Alice's eyes. I'm thinking about making it a 'special'-thing, like every fifth chapter, I will write from Alice's point of view. What would you think about that? Well, give me your opinion, it would mean the world to me. And if you don't like seeing from Alice's view, then I'll stop and just continue with Bella's 'eyes' all the time. I want you guys to be happy. And hey by the way. I will make a new fan fiction soon. What should it be about? I'm considering PewdieCry. Got any suggestions? I'll put a poll up with it soon so leave some suggestions!  
Enjoy! Hugs from the author  
Ps. Not beta-read, so if you see any mistakes, tell me and I'll change it right away, ok? Thanks!

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**Alice's point of view**

"So what are we gonna do today?"  
Bella asked me as I shifted from one leg to the other, impatient. There was nothing I hated more than being rejected, it was obviously not what I needed right now. But I had to think about Bella and her well-being, I knew that.  
She was watching me, expecting me to answer her question. She simply was glorious, though she had no clue. She was so very special and since the first day I saw her, I knew her presence would be life changing.  
What I didn't know at that time, was that she wouldn't just chance my brother Edwards life, but mine too. I realized that in between our friendly conversations, the chattering, and my good-hearted fashion-advices. I've known for a long time that my friendly feelings for her had become something else but I just wouldn't face the facts – not until recently.  
Jasper had messed up big time and to be honest I refused to put up with his shit anymore. He could do whatever he wanted from now on, I just refused to be a part of it. I knew I was being unfair to the rest of the family but nonetheless Jasper had made his decision – He wanted to feed on humans. So he couldn't be a part of the family anymore, unless he changed his mind quickly.

"What about some shopping?" I blurted out, my tone just as excited as ever when it got to that specific topic. In that we, me and Bella, were the opposite – like light and dark. She hated shopping and it shouldn't surprise me that she only bought her own underwear because she couldn't ask that of Charlie.  
But I felt free when I spend money, just like any other normal woman does, but on the other hand, Bella wasn't exactly normal.

"Alice, are you serious?" Bella rolled her eyes and I couldn't help but giggle lightly. Of course I was serious but I knew Bella would disagree on the idea. I would be positively surprised if she'd said yes though.  
"Well you can always hope, can't you?" said I, a ghost of another meaning hidden carefully behind them. Bella just shok her head as she poured up some milk. Any other human being would have asked if I wanted some, but Bella knew our secret. She'd known for a long time and it hadn't scared her away.  
She really is quite a character. I was drawn to her, fascinated by her and enthralled by her. Drawn to her because she managed to me make me feel something, something that no one had made me feel before. Fascinated by her humanity and enthralled by her smile, her beating heart and how she made me feel whole.  
In her presence I could conquer the world just for her.

"What about going to the movies this evening then? Charlie would be glad to see me go out," Bella suggested. A smile spread across my lips as I nodded. Going to the movies with Bella, just me and her? God, I could already foresee that this evening would be pure torment for me. The sparks that ignited between us made me crazy. I had taken me such a long time to accept the fact that I'm attracted to her – no, that's the wrong word.  
I _craved _her. I've wanted her for so long and now the cup was spilling over. I couldn't handle how my body reacted when she was close. Oh the bittersweet pain.

"Where are _they_ now?" Her question startled me. I blinked several times and then sat myself down by the table, watching Bella who awaited my answer. I hated this, knowing she was still head over heels for my brother and worst of all, he still loved her too. They truly believed they were meant for each other but I couldn't, I wouldn't, accept it. She's mine now. One day I'll make her mine.  
"Well," I giggled, trying to avoid the question she really was asking; where is _he. _"Rosalie and Emmett went overseas, Esme and Carlisle is travelling around the world and Jasper, I truly have no clue where he is," I sent her a warm smile. But I could see in her eyes that she wasn't pleased with the answer. Swiftly I rose from the chair and with graceful steps; I danced up the stairs, towards her room, followed by Bella.  
But something I had not expected was that she tripped over the last stair tread. She shrieked. In the split of a second I caught her, my eyes wide with terror and shock. My arms were wrapped tightly around her waist, preventing her from hitting the floor. If I could flush, I would. But Bella could and I could with no trouble see how her cheeks were colored in a rose-red shade and I couldn't help it when I giggled affectionately at her.

"You're incredibly cute," I mumbled as I steadied her. She had obviously heard what I said but tried to ignore it by looking to the floor.  
"Sorry," she apologized and then walked to her room. Shit, I really hated this – the awkward mood, the sparks between us when we touched. If my heart could beat, it would race as the speed of a wild horse. But it didn't. However I could hear her heart – it beat so fast. Oh, how I could hear the blood running through her veins. She smelled so exquisite. But it wasn't her blood I thirsted for.  
She sat at the bed, one leg crossed over the other. The jeans clung to her skinny legs. She wore a red hoodie and her hair was sat in a ponytail. She looked beautiful but if I got the permission to dress her every day, all the boys – even some girls – would come running after her but just the thought painted me green with jealousy on the inside.  
"So… What do you want to do right now?" I asked as I leaned against the wall, observing her.  
"We could go grab some dinner – err, I could," she said teasingly. I raised one eyebrow and then giggled. "Of course! Let's go, I pay and I can carry you the whole way so you won't trip over your own feet." I gave back. She rolled her eyes at me.  
As she got to her feet I watched carefully, ready to catch her if she fell. "We can drive all the way to Port Angeles in your shit-truck," I said. A pissed off Bella was always the funniest Bella.  
Bella struck after me with a fist but naturally I was faster than her, so I dodged with no problems. I giggled as I danced my way down the stairs, out the door, to the car and jumped into the driver's seat.

After a smaller argument with Bella about who of us should drive – which argument I won of course – and after an hour of driving, we finally made it to a restaurant. The darkness had already spread itself; it came early in the fall.  
With me paying I chose the most expensive because, well, I could, and I knew the mood in there was quite romantic. The wallpaper was an intense red color and in the ceiling hung enormous chandeliers who released a dimmed light. Across from me sat Bella. The candlelight reflected in her eyes and I recognized a soft redden on her cheeks.  
The yearning to reach over and touch her skin almost got too much but I behaved. I knew I had to wait for her to be ready – I had forever, after all. _But she hasn't_, a vague voice in my head reminded me. I pushed it away, determined to enjoy this moment.

"Really, Alice, you shouldn't have done this. It's too much."  
It was not difficult to see how Bella felt out of her element, but I really wanted to do something special for her – show her that I really care.  
"Don't think about it. I just thought it would be nice to go out," I said and smiled reassuring to her which seemed to calm her slightly.  
A waiter, a black-haired guy in a formal suit, came walking towards our table. He handed each of us a menu and left with a polite smile. I watched her as she opened her menu. Everything about her was just so incredibly stunning. The way she fought against her smile, the way the color sneaked up across her jaw bone and the way she bit her lip when she got nervous – like now.

All of sudden I flew into a daze. Suddenly I see Jasper somewhere. In front of a restaurant. He looked mad, his eyes blood-red. He walked into the restaurant and then I realize; it's our restaurant!  
When I finally snap out of me, Bella had grabbed my hand and is looking concerned at me. A shiver was sent down my spine and I wondered for a second if it was because of her touch or because of my sight. I sucked in a deep breath before I manage to say; "Bella. Jasper will be here soon. Keep it cool, I'll handle it."


	6. Chapter 6 - Like colors in the dark

**Chapter six – ****Like colors in the dark**

**Authors note: **Hey guys. I just wanted to tell you that I'm starting in school again this Monday after a long break, so I will be busy, but I'll try to update as much as possible, okay? A chapter once every day won't work anymore. But I won't let you down, I promise.  
Hope you're all feeling great and had a great Thanksgiving – we don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Denmark unfortunately. I wish we did, though.  
Enjoy! Hugs from the author!

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My eyes widened with horror.  
Was Jasper here now? Would he come in and break everything? Somehow I doubted that. I couldn't imagine Jasper being a bloodthirsty monster – no way. Not even when he attacked me at my birthday-party. He didn't mean to harm me. Right?

"Calm down, Bella," Alice spoke softly. No, even if he wanted to hurt me, Alice would protect me. I hated the thought. Partly because I knew I could never become one of _them_, but mostly because I knew she could get hurt because of me. I clenched my clenched my fingers into fists.  
But I nodded, my lips pressed into a line. Somehow the waiter had sneaked up on us and waited for my order. I glanced at the menu.  
"Eh, a number 34 and a medium coke, thanks,"  
"And for you, miss?" He directed his attention to Alice.  
"The best wine you have," She smiled the most stunning smile I've ever seen her smile. Was she just flirting with the waiter? The waiter tried to appear unaffected by her smile but I could easily see that he was astounded. How could you not be by _her_? He immediately left the table.  
Jealousy hit me like a missile, exploded and consumed me. I didn't quite get what my problem was, but in deep inside my mind, shut and locked, I knew why I was so shaken up by it. I felt like walking out the door but then I remembered; Jasper would be here soon. I had to behave.  
"What does he want?" I asked in an attempt to push away the overpowering feeling. She made eye contact and immediately I felt the electric sparks between us and my stomach contracted. I tore my stare away but noticed that she smirked. Did she feel it too? Was it the romantic mood the restaurant sets? Something told me no.

"Well, ask him yourself?" She giggled. A couple of tables away from us stood Jasper. His stare was red. Not a beautiful rose red, but more a dark, crimson red. My heart suddenly stopped and I felt like screaming. Seeing him like this actually hurt me more than I imagined it would and I got an overwhelming urge to cross the room and embrace him, but somehow I knew that it would be a very, very bad idea.  
Gracefully, he moved towards us. Alice didn't seem to care; I guess she hoped he wouldn't make a scene in a public place. I forced a smile to my lips to welcome him, but he completely ignored it, like I was air to him. I blinked uncomprehendingly.  
"Good evening, ladies," Jasper said, his attention directed towards Alice. He said it in plural but he didn't even dare to look at me. What have I done to offend him?

"Good evening, Jasper. What do you want?" Alice cut right to the core. Somehow I appreciated that with Jaspers unfriendliness, it wouldn't take long for me to get frustrated. I just wanted to have a good time and here he comes, thinking he owns the place.  
"Oh am I interrupting in something?" Jasper said, obviously slightly amused. Something in me told me that he quite well knew that he was barging in. But well, Alice and he needed to talk about things, right? To figure out what to do about the situation. I swallowed a lump.  
Alice looked at Jasper, sighed and moved in to make space for Jasper. Jasper grinned and placed himself at the chair where Alice just had been seated. Finally he turned his stare to me but with such coldness that I flinched and had to look away.  
"Cut the bullshit and speak, Jasper," It was easy to hear how frustrated she was. This wasn't what we had in mind for the evening but I wouldn't let him get to me - My first night out in half a year, how could I allow him to ruin that. Alice's stare blazed with anger, pinned cautiously at Jasper.  
Jasper looked slightly amused, his mouth twisting upwards in a smile and I had no idea why but it sent chills down my spine. His presence really made me feel uncomfortable.

"Oh, so I can't even say hi to my _girlfriend_?" He pronounced girlfriend with such a provocation that I imagined Alice would be twitching her hands into fists and I couldn't help hoping that she'd kick him out of the restaurant. But she just rolled her eyes at him.  
The waiter suddenly came and placed my plate and coke in front of me. The delicious smell reached my nose, it smelled mouthwatering. I couldn't even name what the dish was called but it was some kind of expensive fish. . I hadn't even realized how hungry I'd been until I heard the growl of my stomach. With a single glare towards Alice, I dived into the food.  
"I'm not your girlfriend, Jasper, and you know that. So what's your reason for being here?" Alice said. She was growing impatient which was easy to see by the way she glanced at him. If looks could kill.  
He grinned. "Alice, dear – what does she have that I don't?"  
I almost choked on my food. What kind of question was that? I blinked, not getting what the hell he meant but was too terrified to look up. Was he referring to me? It's not like she's choosing me over him – we're only friends and Jasper had messed up. He made a choice and that choice was impossible for Alice to live with. So he'd put himself in this situation.  
_Would you have stayed with _him_ if he'd feed on humans_? Said a tiny voice in my head. I tried to shove it away but the thought haunted me.  
I would, or at least I think I would. But like that I could've put my family and myself in danger. But he's not here anymore and somehow, somewhere, I knew that I was starting to accept the fact that he wouldn't come back.  
Alice, on the other hand, didn't look shocked – she looked angrier than I've ever seen her before and for a moment I got scared.

"Jasper, will you please leave us alone?" She said, obviously trying to hide the madness in her voice, however that didn't work. Jasper shook his head.  
"I want an answer."  
He was really getting on my nerves. He ignored me completely. He had obviously lost his manners. He used to be this beautiful guy with such self-control and manners. Really a nice person, though he had his issues to deal with, for instance, he'd been kind of new at the whole vegetarian-thing and it had gotten too much. He'd lost it and it really made me sad, both on his and Alice behalf.  
"Okay Jasper. She's got a brain. You get it now?" She spit and her hostility quite frankly gave me a massive shock but her words made me flush rosy. Wow. I blinked and then hurried to eat, just to have something to do. Their issues not mine.  
"I want you back." His voice was filled with vulnerability and so were his scarlet-colored eyes. Shock was painted all over Alice's stunning face.


	7. Chapter 7 - The moon holds the light

**Chapter seven – The moon holds the light**

**Authors note: **Hey everybody. It's getting exciting, isn't it? Oh, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Writing is truly my beautiful escape. And remember if you see any mistakes in the text, then tell me and I'll change it right away. I always appreciate you guys help. This chapter it slightly shorter, sorry, but if I changed it, it wouldn't fit with the next one. Sorry, guys!  
Hugs from me!

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"I beg your pardon…" Alice stuttered, her eyes wide with shock. Neither of us expected this. I thought he'd let her go because that's what's best for her. She can't be with him, it's too much of a danger for her and the family.  
Yes of course you make mistakes, but he was unwilling to go back – to go back to normal. I swallowed a lump, biting my lip and trying to think clear. I know my food is getting cold, but suddenly I'd lost my appetite.

"You heard what I said, Alice. I want you back. I want you to come back and agree to take me as I am,"  
He really wanted her to come back; you could sense it in his voice. Sounding so vulnerable, almost begging. I poked at the food with my fork, obviously embarrassed by the topic.

"I don't want to, Jasper. But I want you to leave and let me move on. " Her voice was piercing, almost a snarl. Jasper nodded. Was he really giving up? Already? I seriously hoped so.

"I just want you to know; the time we had together was worth everything. I love you, Alice," and as soon as the last word was out of his mouth, he was gone. Disappeared into thin air.  
The love-confession left us both rather speechless. She looked apologizing at me and I shrugged. What else to do? It wasn't her fault and well, they'd been together for such a long time, so moving on could be hell. I knew that and he and Ihadn't been together nearly as long as Alice and Jasper had.  
"I'm really sorry, I didn't know he would -" I cut her off midsentence.  
"Don't. I know. It wasn't your fault." I said, forcing a smile on my lips. Alice nodded and poured up some wine which she pushed towards me. I raised a brow. I wasn't very keen of drinking but to be honest, I needed it. It would be good to feel careless, just once, right?  
So I raised the glass and said; "Cheers for the future!" and emptied the glass. The bittersweet taste sent chills through my body. Alice giggled and placed her head in her hands, observing me. Her eyes were so very beautiful and I had to look down to avoid blushing.

"Eat," she commanded but far from harsh. I nodded as I grabbed my fork and began eating the delicious fish. I've never tasted anything quite as delightful as this.  
"What did he mean by the 'what does she have that I don't'-thing?" It almost came out as a whisper. I bit my lip but couldn't make myself to look at her. My heart beat like a drum and I noticed that my fingers shook slightly. Why the hell was I being so nervous? Alice is just a friend, right?  
And you can tell and ask a friend everything.

I glanced up at her but met her stare so I immediately looked down once again. Shit. What was that in her eyes? It was something… different.  
"Bella, forget that. It doesn't matter," but something in her voice told me that she was hiding something from me. I raised a brow as I looked directly at her. Now the stubbornness in me showed and I wouldn't let her off that easily.  
"Alice," I protested, "Please."  
She sighed and I really hope that she would surrender soon. Somehow the mood changed, got more intense. Alice looked over her shoulder, trying to avoid my glare but I refused to let the topic slip.  
"Bella, it's just…" She began and she met my stare. Her eyes were shining, shining with passion and aching desire and it shocked me. I wasn't used to be looked at this way, except for by... Yeah, him. I bit my lower lip and I could almost feel what she was about to say. The thing is, do I want to hear it?  
"I just.. I just really care about you," she managed to say. I could no nothing but nod.  
"And… You're all I have left, but still all that I need," She continued and suddenly my heart raced and butterflies flew violently around in my stomach. Hearing her say those words, made my heart flutter and I couldn't help a tiny, shy smile.

"You know I am here no matter what." I pushed over my lips. I know she wanted something more than friendship, but it's all that I can offer right now. Maybe in time I would be ready for more, but my mind told me something; no matter if I was ready or not, I was already falling.  
"And for that, I am very thankful," And she meant it. She expected nothing more. She had forever, forever to wait for me. She would look just as gorgeous as ever but I would age. I got older with every day.  
"Would you ever consider turning me?" I burst out.


	8. Chapter 8 - Honey you're a shipwreck

**Chapter eight – Honey you're a shipwreck**

**Authors note: **Hey darlings. To be honest I don't have anything to say. I try my best to update as much as I can. I think it's okay like this, right? Maybe because I have 2 hours ride in bus each way to school - A lot of time to write fan fiction!  
But hey, seriously, come with some suggestions on my next FF. Anything in particular you want? Then tell me and I'll try to make it happen!  
Enjoy. Hugs!

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She stared like she'd just seen a ghost and if possible, her skin turned even paler. Her mouth formed into an O and she didn't even blink. She just stared at me like that for several seconds until she regained control over herself. I didn't quite understand why she would get so shocked over the question, I mean, I've always wanted to become one of them, I'm sure she already knew.  
"Bella, you know I couldn't do that," she tried to come up with a lot of good reasons, and yes indeed, they were pretty good, but not good enough to change my mind. How I would lose Charlie, the opportunity to finish high school for decades and so on. But the truth is; I'd never felt comfortable like this. Like just the normal me. I had to be something _more_. They might think I'm crazy, asking to become a _monster_ like them. They never had a choice. I do.

"I want to. I _need_ to," I begged but she was far from convinced. She shook her head.  
"Let's talk about that in ten years," she tried to push away the topic by pouring up some wine for me.  
"Ten years?" I exclaimed and I couldn't hide my terror. "In ten years I'll almost be grey-haired and have wrinkles, Alice!" Oh, how I was afraid of aging. In the past it was because of _him_. I didn't want him to see me, old and even more fragile. I didn't want him to watch me die. But even though he wasn't mine anymore, I couldn't stand the thought of getting older. I wanted to be young and practically nice-looking forever, but something more was behind, something I really couldn't – or wouldn't – point my finger at.  
I heard Alice sighed. Maybe we shouldn't get into this right now. I took the glass and drank the wine way too fast. My dad wouldn't like this. Me drinking like this. Well, what he doesn't know doesn't hurt him. I licked my lower lip to get the last drop of the bittersweet wine.  
"So… Did you like the food?" She asked. I nodded. "It tasted amazing Alice, but I can't eat more. I'm full," I said with a grin.  
"So shall we go to yours?" Alice ran her fingers through her silky hair. She was so incredibly beautiful and maybe it was the wine, but my fingers ached to touch her and my lips desired to collide themselves with hers.  
"But what about the wine?" I pouted. I wanted to feel careless, not think, not feel, just live in the present. I haven't done that for the last half year. I lived in the time where he and I were together. But we aren't. I want to move on now. I want to forget him and live the life I've always wanted. The question is; what do I want out of life?

"Hey Bells!" My dad shouted from the living room, he was probably watching baseball on the TV, which was good, since I couldn't hold back on the wine and now I was all dizzy and lightheaded.  
"Hey dad," I mumbled as I walked up the stairs, trying to focus on putting one leg in front of the other. But then I heard Charlie's footsteps getting closer.  
"Bells, where have you been all day?" He asked, I could feel his stare on my back. Oh shit. I avoided turning around, I don't want him to see me in this condition.  
"I went shopping with some friends from school and then we decided to eat out. I thought you wanted me to go out more often?" I bit my lip. "But I'm really exhausted, so I'll head to bed," And I went further up the stairs. I feared that he might begin to ask me questions about my evening, but to be honest, my mind was too clouded by my intake of alcohol, and so coming up with further excuses would be problematic.  
"Okay. 'Night, Bells," He said and I let out a sigh of relief.  
I went hastily into my room and closed the door behind me. Alice sat at my bed, her smile wide at her beautiful face. Her skin was so unbelievably smooth and pale; I've never seen anything like it.  
I jumped right into her arms, giggling. This was so unlike me, but Alice seemed to enjoy it. She wrapped her arms around me and held me close, caressing my back. I didn't complain. It was soothing and finally, if only for a couple of seconds, I felt safe. In her arms, I was home.  
I placed my head on her shoulder, body felt stone-hard against mine. But it was something I've grown accustomed to, their lack of heat and the shatterproof skin. She smelled delicious, like an early summer morning or rain in the spring.  
If it was the liquor or not, I didn't know, but I pressed my body against hers, rubbing her back affectionate. This could be absolutely friendly but the way my heart beat and my breath quickened, couldn't be normal, right? I closed my eyes and that's when I noticed; our breath was perfectly synchronized with hers. Just as rapid and uncontrolled. Did she do that on purpose? I knew vampires don't have to breathe.

I moved my head by an inch but her embrace tightened and suddenly I felt something by my throat, so freezing that it sent chills down my spine, but still so indescribably intoxication. It was her lips, kissing me once, then kissing me twice. I shut my eyes closed, trying to catch up with what was happening. Was Alice kissing my neck or was I imagining?  
"A—Alice, what are you doing," I muttered under my breath, but knowing she heard it, for she pulled lightly back. I met her gaze and blinked confused. My thoughts were all tangled up.  
"Do you want me to stop?"  
And the truth was; I didn't. I wanted to feel her close to me, that beautiful girl. Drunk or not, I wanted to feel her kisses all over me and maybe this would be my only chance. What if she disappeared tomorrow? Left me, like _he_ did, defenseless and lost.  
"Will you leave me?" I whispered. I was aware of the fact that she still held me close, that her hands had moved from my back to my hips, while she still looked at me. Observing me like she was trying to find out what I was feeling. But I wasn't quite sure myself.  
"Bella, I won't leave. I never did," she said honestly. I watched her for a couple of seconds, recognizing the desire and affection in her eyes. With all doubt forgotten, I replied;  
"Then no."


	9. Chapter 9 - Silly little things

**Chapter nine - Silly little things**

**Authors note: **Hey guys. I'm kinda ill right now but I managed to finish this chapter. I won't let you down, no matter what. I hope you enjoy this chapter, because I certainly did. Alice is such a killjoy, isn't she? But it's sort of cute anyway ~ Sorry if there's any mistakes.  
Hugs from me c:

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Her cool, soft fingers, tracing down my body, the lips all over my neck, planting honeysweet, feathery kisses, and I almost couldn't breathe. I gasped for air, grasped for something to hold on to. I dug my nails into Alice's back and she groaned.

Lights were turned off and the only things I could see were her silhouette over me and her eyes, sparkling with desire. My body was burning, burning with arousal. Everywhere she touched left a tingling feeling. I was still fully dressed but I wanted to get rid of the only thing between us; the terrible material. I should ask her to take all our clothes off.  
But my voice was lost somewhere in me. I couldn't grasp it.  
"Bella, you smell so amazing. It's so..." She travels downwards and I notice how she's trembling – or was it me? I wasn't sure. "So tempting."  
I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I craved her, all of her. My body responded to her every touch, her every kiss. So surprisingly gentle.  
She didn't just want a quick fuck; she sought after making this tender, something special and memorable. I bit my lip and let out a moan as her fingers fumbled on my breasts, teasing me, material still the only thing keeping us from being skin-to-skin.  
"Then turn me," My voice was quivering as I spoke. She stopped unexpectedly and I could feel her glare on me. My breath was quick; chest rising and dropping rapidly. I already knew the answer, but it wouldn't hurt asking. I was used to getting turned down on that subject.

"No matter how much I thirst for you, I would never turn you," she whispered, her voice still filled with desire. "Then I wouldn't be able to see you blush or feel the warmth of your body," Her lips was suddenly close to my ear and the tone of her voice, sent cool frissons throughout me. She nipped gently at my earlobe and I let out a groan. "As human you are the most beautiful, spectacular and perfect creature on Earth, and I don't want you any different."  
"But…" But my own moan cut me off. Her hands were sliding down my body, over my breasts, my stomach and then _there_. Still outside my pants, but I almost couldn't manage anymore. Oh how I wanted her. She was moving her hands, up and down repeatedly and I had to admit; I've never wanted anyone like I wanted her right now. Her lips were still by my ear and I could hear her breathe.

"A—Alice," I sighed in pleasure, leaning my head back. She continued and I got more and more uncomfortable in my pants, I wanted her even closer. Her fingertips on my naked skin…  
"Take it off," but I could sense she shook her head. What? Wasn't this what she wanted? I mean, I never thought my first time would be with a girl, but I really, really liked her. I more than liked her, I think. She made me feel alive and with her I would walk the world. That's love, right? I guess.

"You're not sure, Bella. I want you to be sure." And then she stopped touching my private part. I creaked disappointed.  
"Alice you can't stop now," I complained but knew I had to resort to other alternatives. So I grabbed around her hand and lead it down my pants, under my underwear and pushed myself against her fingers. "I… I want you so much," I begged and moaned at the same time. I flushed. How could I do such thing? Fuck.  
Alice didn't move her fingers, she just gasped for air, obviously just as turned on as me. I hoped, begged and prayed to that she would give in and give me what I wanted. My hormones must be racing through my body, because my entire body was stinging with craving.  
"You're so wet," I heard her mumble, and flushed even more. Of course I was. I mean… Shouldn't I be? Was there something wrong with me? I bit my lip, trying to calm myself, wouldn't be good if I suddenly just jumped on her and forced her to have sex with me. Wouldn't want that, though it somehow sounded tempting.

"Bella, you're making this very difficult for me," Alice murmured. Mission complete, I thought, but then she retracted her hand, which made me wince. I wanted her to touch me so badly, my entire body was aching with lust.  
"Just—just do it, I want you to," I pleaded but I could see the silhouette of her head as she shook it. I pouted and sat up, leaning against the bedroom-wall. Why couldn't she just do if it pleased me? I rolled my eyes as I pulled the duvet around me.  
"Bella, don't be mad…" Her voice was so quiet and kind, but why would she start something she couldn't finish? I mean… I don't know. I maybe overreacting, but I just wanted her so god damn much.

"I'm not mad," I sighed, because I wasn't. I wasn't mad, I was just dissatisfied, and rejection was my weak point. But nonetheless I didn't want her to leave. The least she could do was to stay the night. Now she was here, the thought of her leaving, honestly frightened me.  
"You sleepy?" She asked, gently caressing my foot that wasn't covered by the duvet. I nodded; if she didn't want to touch me further, I might as well get some sleep.  
"Bathroom," I said as I jumped out of bed and headed to the bathroom for some human-time. I watched my reflection in the mirror. My skin was pale but my cheeks burning red and my hair fell in wavy cascades around my head.  
I stripped down to bra and underwear and then walked to my room to find my pajamas. I pulled it out of my closet and I could feel Alice's stare on me. I smiled, my back still turned to her, as I pulled the pajamas-shorts on and the t-shirt over my head. Slowly I moved towards the bed, lay down and less than two seconds after, Alice had wrapped her arms around me, tugging me close to her chest.  
And like that, with my face snuggled against her neck, I fell asleep and for once, I slept with no nightmares.


	10. Chapter 10 -This girl lives in my dreams

**Chapter ten – This girl lives in my dreams**

**Authors note: **Hey everybody. Are you doing great? I'm not. Still feeling ill and meh, just want to sleep all the time. But I'll be fine.  
I want to let you know that I really don't appreciate you guys trying to make my fan fiction take another turns than the ones I've made. I get it, you want them to have sex, but hey, Alice has just broken up with the guy she's loved for so many many years. She has issues too, and no, she can't turn Bella. I like Bella being human, I really do. That's how I like her the best.  
But this chapter is being seen from Alice's eyes. I hope this can explain everything. (And yes, the previous chapter was frustrating to write, because I want them to have dirty sex and all that, but I just think it's too early – I'm such a romantic person, haha)  
And to be honest, I really like to confuse people, that way it gets more exciting, right?  
I wrote this chapter while having a fever. Hope it isn't too weird or anything. But I would like to hear your opinion.  
But I hope you'll enjoy and try not to hate me for making what I think should happen between Bella and Alice (':

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**Alice's point of view**

Watching her sleep was so peaceful. The way she breathed so soundless, except for murmuring once in a while, it was something I enjoyed so very much. I could watch her for days without being bored, e it filled me with such tranquility. She was so very beautiful and holding her close like this, made me the happiest person – or vampire – on Earth. Her smell, though, made it challenging to be entirely relaxed, I managed to be as calm as possible. Her human-scent was so intoxicating and it would be so easy – oh so easy – to just sink my teeth into her bare skin.  
But no, I wanted her like this. Fragile as porcelain, with the blush on her cheeks and these chocolate-colored eyes who definitely would make my heart skip a beat every time she looked at me – if it did beat, of course.  
By every day, this love for her grew stronger, more unbreakable and unavoidable. I couldn't deny or hide it anymore; she'd caught my unbeaten heart and now my life was dedicated to her, my mind set to please her.

But still the thoughts and concerns about Jasper kept haunting me. After all, we were together for over 6 decades and he had made me come alive for good. Jasper has always and will always be a part of me, but what I felt for him, was nothing compared to what I felt for Bella. With him it was safety, the feeling of being safe, protected and loved. But now the role has been turned; now I was the one who had to keep another person safe and I knew, I would protect her with my life, use my body as a shield for her. I wasn't nearly as breakable as her.  
She had asked me to turn her – to make her like me – but how could I? I was thirsting for her blood, it was number second on my wish list, just under 'living happily ever after with Bella'. I couldn't imagine anything more painful than watching her slip out of my hands. I would hold her tight forever and never let her out of sight.

Maybe one day I could turn her, for my own sake. She was human, she would get ill and eventually die like everybody else. A lump formed in my throat, just thinking about it made me dizzy. I couldn't let that happen. Never. One day, yes, one day I will turn her so we can be together till the end of time.  
The question was; did she want that? To live with me forever? Would she survive my endless rambling about fashion and my need to choose her clothes every day?  
I would definitely make her wear high heels at least twice a week. A smile ran across my lips.

I knew she would wake up soon.  
Fortunately it was Saturday so she could sleep as long as she wished to and I would happily hold her close until she woke up, but she was starting to get restless. She wriggled, kicking in her sleep. I yanked her closer to me, sheltered her from whatever haunted her in her dreams.

"Alice," she mumbled groggily, I wasn't quite sure if she was awake or not, but gently I planted a kiss on her messy hair. Oh how I adored the smell of her hair.  
"I'm here, don't worry," I whispered, hoping she would hear it and drift to sleep again, but she didn't. She opened her eyes, looking puzzled up at me. Even in the morning she looked stunning so serene and unconcerned, and that's how I wanted her to be; with no problems, with no troubles, just sparkling with happiness every day and night. She deserved that.

"Good morning," I whispered, voice glistening with fondness and a smile to match. My arms were still wrapped tightly around her which she didn't seem to mind.  
"You stayed all night?" She muttered. What else did she expect? That I would just leave? No way in Hell that I would leave her ever again – she was doomed to deal with me every day and night from now on. It still remained a mystery to me how my arse-brother could leave this incredible girl, but to be completely honest, I'd been hoping he would lose interest in her. So long I've been waiting for somebody to rock my world, and that she totally did.  
She turned my entire existence upside down.

"Of course I did, Bella. I want to be by your side every second," And I meant it. Those days where I'd left her, all I was hoping and wishing for was for her to call me back. I was watching her, observing her every step.

Bella's cheeks had flushed rose red and I couldn't help smiling.  
"Did you sleep well?" I asked, slightly letting my fingers stroke along her spine.  
"Yeah," she murmured almost in a purr because of my touch. If only I could read her thoughts, discover what was going on in her beautiful head. But that would remain unknown by anyone but her.

"What do you feel like doing today?"  
She furrowed her eyebrows, contemplating about my question, I guessed. I sniffed to her hair, enjoying this moment with her in the imperturbable calmness. I memorized her face, etched it into my mind, knowing I would treasure it forever. My first night with her.  
"You could go hunting and I could do my homework?" She suggested. Obviously I didn't like the idea about leaving her, but I was aware of the fact that I soon had to feed. Spending a whole night with Bella had been more than tempting. So easy it would have been, oh dear.

"Probably a good idea," I said as I nodded. She smiled up at me and the heart I didn't own, melted completely. "So I'll be back in two hours or so, okay? And by then I want you to be dressed and ready." I told her and she nodded.

"Where are we going?" She asked curiously and I couldn't get giggling. Oh how could anybody be that freaking cute? I just wanted to kiss her and hug her all the time, but still; there was this burning desire in my stomach and further down. I just wanted her to be ready, to be one hundred percent sure about this. She gave all the signals last night, oh how tough it was to reject her, but that was about sex. Call me old-fashioned but I just couldn't go through with it without knowing we both felt the same. Love and sex goes hand-in-hand for me and one can't be without the other.  
"You'll see," I replied before I placed my fingers around her chin, lifted it slightly upwards, before I positioned my lips against hers in a soft, feathery kiss.  
Immediately she responded to my kiss and folded her hands behind my neck, pulling me closer, and I smiled, tasting and feeling her cotton-candy lips. She was absolutely perfect and more than I could ever have dreamed of.

Her hands started exploring my body and I let out a muffled groan. The soft heated fingertips on my ice-cold skin when she pulled up my shirt, caressing my stomach, sent shivers through me and I really had to restrain my desire for this girl. So gently I pushed myself away and sent her an apologizing smile.  
"See you soon, Bella," I whispered, as I disappeared out of the window, with a knot in my stomach, already missing her.


	11. Chapter 11- Be my shelter from the storm

**Chapter 11 – Be my shelter from the storm**

**Authors note: **Hey you guys. How are you? I'm finally getting better and went to school tomorrow, it's great!  
But hey? This is chapter 11 and there will only the 13. So it's over soon! Though I swear, I will make new chapters, just in another story, where the titles are named out from the other soundtrack. I'm bad at writing long things, haha. But the story is completely the same, nothing different there. I just need closures sometimes so I can start anew.  
By the way, is there anyone who would like to beta-read my upcoming chapters? My only English-speaking friend just went on vacation. So please? Add me on Skype; Kawaiikatashi  
Hope you are doing great, hugs from me!

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"Where are you taking me, Alice?"  
Being blind like this really made me uncomfortable. She'd wrapped some kind of soft cloth around my eyes and everything was just black. I hated it but I trusted her, didn't I? I had to show her? So I sat back against the seat in the car with a small sigh.  
I could almost sense how she would smile. She was always so positive and light-spirited and that's one of the many things I like about her. So kind-hearted and I saw no monster in this girl. She truly wanted the best for everybody. But still; she drove like she was chased. Is that just how vampires drive?_ He _drove like that too. I could feel my internal organs constrict but I guess I have to get used to that.  
"You'll see." She just said mysteriously and a tiny smile showed on my lips. Well, gotta listen to the vampire, right? Still I wished I could enjoy the ride without being blindfolded.  
"Will you at least turn on the radio?" I asked.  
The radio got turned on and a piano-piece which I'd never heard before, reached my ears in a surprising but good way. It's been such a long time since I'd been able to hear any kind of music without breaking down in tears. So it amazed me how easy it was now and it even pleased me.

"We're here!" She exclaimed.  
I blinked. Did I fall asleep? I must have. I stretched once before I heard my door open. Faltering I stepped out of the car but luckily Alice offered me her hand to grasp. I really felt helpless without vision.  
"Thanks," I mumbled and heard the door smack behind me. It was freezing so I thanked Alice in my thoughts for reminding me to bring a jacket.  
"Let me take this of you," she said as she fumbled with the knot in the back of my head and finally I could see once again. It felt great. I had missed Alice's smile and those eyes – those eyes which could see right through me and calm down my mind when it's in chaos. No words could describe my relief of Alice's return; it had saved my soul and heart and no words, actions nor gifts would be enough to thank her.  
But that's when it hit me. We were standing in front of a huge building, surrounded by a lot of cars and on a big sign above us, there were written in block capitals "Ice skating for everybody"  
My jaw dropped. "Ice skating?" I stuttered. My balance is nothing to brag about – at all. When you stumble over your own feet frequently, you just know. Anything which involves me and moving is a bad idea. For my own safety I should be locked up in a room with foam rubber all over, particularly on the floor.  
"I can't, Alice," I said, my voice raised more than I'd expected, but I was fairly quite surprised over her choice of activity.  
"Don't be silly, Bella. You know I won't let you fall," and like that, she just pulled me towards the door, shushing my objections.

"Promise to catch me."  
I said as I stepped onto the ice. I sucked in a deep breath as I grabbed Alice's arm tighter.  
"I promise," she answered and took my hand, squeezing my hand. My legs were shaking, like I was balancing on stilts which it actually felt like. I swear, I'd never do a thing like this unless I'd known that my friend was a vampire and could move at the speed of light. _Friend. _The word echoed in my mind. It didn't feel like the right word anymore. She was so much more and had somehow always been.  
The ice was so dangerously freezing and hard under my ice skates, it was intimidating. But somehow, I knew I was in safe hands. So with a smile, I looked at Alice. She seemed smaller without her fancy heels and like this, we matched.  
"You lead," I grinned, but I wasn't fully satisfied with just 'holding hands', so I entwined my fingers with hers. I could hear her soft giggle as she took the first step, which wasn't an actual step, but more a glide forward and I was forced to follow. That was the first time today I noticed what she was wearing.  
This black and white striped shirt, sitting quite tight at her, just as tight as her black legging, it was clinging to all the right places. It sent a static shock to my stomach. She was so unbelievably attractive.

A few hours later, I was exhausted and my all the muscles in my legs were screaming. It had been a genuine surprise how much I'd enjoyed myself.  
It had been amazing! I even learned to move without clutching the life out of Alice's hand. I only fell down a couple of times, but of course, like she'd promised, Alice had caught me. Never would I accomplish such grace and refinement as Alice – she just flew over the ice, doing pirouettes and all that, with no troubles. Jaws all around us fell with amazement of her beauty and I'd felt this gnawing jealousy in my stomach, running through my blood.  
Not because she was so amazing, but because I knew they were staring at her, and desired her.  
Now we were sitting at a table in a café, I was still trying to catch my breath after the ice skating. The café was small and friendly, nothing special, but somehow this made me more comfortable than the sophisticated restaurant we went to yesterday.  
"What do you'd like to eat? We still have one thing left to do," she giggled. Her eyes were sparkling with excitement. How typical Alice. Always overdoing everything, but after all, that's how I loved her.  
_Loved her?_ The choice of words in my mind took me by surprise. Did I really love her? I mean, I loved her as a friend, as a close friend, right? But it sounded so wrong, an understatement. She was more; she'd always been more and always would be. But how much more, I wondered.  
"Uhm," I glanced down at my menu that was placed in front of me. "I'll take a number 20 and a coffee latté" I said. A soup and coffee latté, just what I needed. Something light but hot.  
A waiter walked towards us and Alice ordered for me. She spoiled me but secretly I liked it – feeling special and treasured.  
"You were amazing at ice skating, Alice. I mean, who taught you that?" I said, openly astonished. She'd done it like a real ice skate-princess, and with the spiky locks whirling around her head.  
She was so incredibly beautiful and to be honest, since she showed that off, I wanted to kiss her so badly. My lips were itching with the need.  
"Hundreds of years with practice," she giggled, knowing I'd get the joke. I tend to forget what she truly is, but for me, it didn't mattered.  
It made no difference. I knew she would never lay a hand on me with cruel intentions.

"Oh right," I said, a smile crossing my lips. And it was stuck. The smile, I couldn't stop it. Maybe it was the energy and the excitement, but there was something about Alice that made butterflies take wings in my stomach.  
My soup and latté was served and the talk went on about everything in between heaven and earth and slowly I recognized this feeling rising in me. A feeling I'd only felt once for half a year ago. I swallowed a lump. My heart was too broken for this, too fragile and breakable. I couldn't do this, I just couldn't. She would hurt me like _he_ did, break my heart in thousands little pieces and leave me.

"Alice…" I whispered and I rapidly saw the alert on her face. But I had to say it or it would eat me, eat me alive. "I… I can't do what you want me to do –" she tried to butt in, but I shook my head. "Just hear me out" I sucked in a deep breath.  
"I think… I think I might be falling for you, Alice, and I don't like it. You'll break my heart and leave me, and I can't survive this time," I whispered, unconsciously leaning over the table, getting closer to her. I saw a slight amusement cross her face.  
"Bella, I would never, ever leave you –" This time I was the one trying to bark in, but she held a finger over her lips, shushing me. "I love you, okay? I'll never hurt you."  
My eyes flew open. Was she fucking serious? Declaring her love just like that? So easily? I couldn't believe it. But nonetheless, the butterflies in my stomach, fluttered lively in my stomach and my knees were all weak, mechanically biting my lip.  
"Fuck…" was all I could manage to say. This was just too much, I wasn't ready for this, and I was too frightened.  
She reached over the table, grasping my hand. I knew I would give in, let her swap me off of my feet, if she kept doing what she was doing – she was breaking down my defense-mechanism piece by piece, making me vulnerable to her cute words and affectionate touches. But the truth was, I was already in too deep, but admitting it, there was the problem. Stubborn as ever.  
"I have forever, you know" She said, as it was an entirely common thing to say. I bit my lip, not knowing how to reply. Just lost for words. Luckily the waiter came and placed my soup and coffee in front of me, but my appetite was entirely gone.  
"I guess, but I don't. I— it doesn't matter, forget it." I shrugged and begin to eat the soup. A nice, hot tomato soup, tasted delicious, though it needed some salt.  
"Don't be like that," and somehow the tone of her voice, drew my attention. It sounded as thin as a thread just about to break and I saw the pain painted in her expression. Oh shit.  
"Alice, sorry, I'm just overwhelmed. That's all," I hurried to say and nevertheless it was the truth. It was overwhelming – it seemed like no longer than a day since _he _left me, so how could I be ready for this? I wish I could just for once let go of my fear and follow my heart. My heart would lead me right into Alice's arms and the thought made a smile curl my lips upwards.

"I haven't asked for anything. Not your heart, not a relationship, just being with you like this, makes me the happiest person on earth, Bella. Can't you see?"  
Another time her tone shocked me. So desperate and paper thin. I didn't like seeing her like this. I took a sip of my latté, was in deep doubt about my next move. But without thinking it through, I said;  
"But I want that. I want a relationship but not now. If I was ready, I would give you my heart, Alice."  
I saw the shock on her face. Why did she look like that? Could it really be so hard to get? It's me who's supposed to look shocked for knowing Alice would wait forever for a girl like me. I was nothing special, a 'nothing' compared to them.  
Without warning, she leaned over the table, placed her fingers in my neck and pulled me towards her and before I knew it, her lips were pressed against mine in a passionate kiss. My eyes flew open but soon they closed. Oh how she had this way, this way of making everything bright and clear just when I'm about to give up on everything. Stars and moons circled inside of my eyelids.  
Slowly she pulled away, leaving me breathless, cheeks colored rosy. I sunk back into my seat, staring unbelievably at her. I must've looked like a complete idiot, totally dizzy because of the sudden kiss.  
"I'll be waiting, Bella. And until then, my body is always at your service." She said with a low giggle, but the severity in her voice was unavoidable. "Now eat,"  
I nodded and ate the rest of my soup, trying to hide how badly I flushed by her words.

"Where are we going now?"  
I looked at Alice, but she just shook her head and looked like she concentrated on driving, but of course she didn't. Why would she with her super-reflexes? I leaned back against the seat with a little smile across my face. This was great, I really enjoyed it. Slowly I moved my hand to the steering wheel and placed it on hears, gently squeezing it. I noticed the weak reflection of a smile.  
"We're here," she said as she parked in a parking lot. Faster than I could spell my own name, she was by my side, opening the car door for me.  
"Thanks," I muttered as I stepped out of the car, secretly stealing some quick glances at Alice. She was smiling like all the time and her eyes were sparkling. Was it really me making her this happy? I almost couldn't believe it.  
The dark has almost reached the city and the sun was about to leave us for today. It spread its beautiful nuances of red, orange and yellow all over the sky. It truly was beautiful.  
"Look," I said as I nodded against the beauty of the sunset. Alice directed her attention towards the sky, studying it, like I did. We stood like that for a minute when she gently offered her hand and with no further thought, I accepted it, squeezing it tightly.  
"Let's go," she said quietly. She led me towards a big building, which revealed itself as a cinema.  
"What are we going to watch?" I asked. I really loved going to the movies, but the thought about being in a coal black room with Alice made me even more excited.  
"Horror or love-comedy, your choice," she giggled. Oh dear, she was so fucking attractive and hot, it tickled everywhere. Our hands were still intertwined and it sent sparks through me and I had to suck in a deep breath.  
"Horror, please," I replied stiffly, trying to regain my self-control. _Easy Bella, you can't do it here._  
She wandered up to the reception and ordered the tickets, bringing coke and popcorn with her back. It was amazing how she always thought about me; I mean, how did she remember it? Maybe because of how she was reminded of my humanity by my smell? I had no better explanation.

Oh god, this was worse than I had expected. Don't ask me about the movie because I didn't pick up anything of the movie. My fingertips were tingling in my lap, itching to reach over and touch that pale skin, but something told me no. I often glanced at her and sometimes she caught me, and like a thief, I innocently looked away. Fuck. These dark rooms really brought up the worst in me. My mind was racing with all these not-so-like-me-thoughts and my heart, dear God, how it was beating, felt like it was about to break out of my chest.  
"Bella, you're shaking," she whispered and caught me by the chin. My eyes flew open, staring at her. I know she could feel it too, I could see it in her eyes. I wasn't the only one who could feel these sparks of desire between us; it was like static shocks paralyzing me.  
Intensely she leaned closer, breathing against my lips, licking the lower one once then she whispered, "Bella, just give in," and with those words, she kissed me fervently.

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**Note: **_This one hasn't been beta-read at all! I had no time for that, okay? Haha c: And as you see, this is quite longer than the previous ones. _  
_But I hope you liked it. Please leave a review, it would be a great help! _


	12. Chapter 12 - Before the morning light

**Chapter 12 – Before the morning light**

**Authors note:** Hello there. Hope you're all doing amazing.  
You would do me a great favor by giving reviews, it really cheers me up and gives me the strength to continue the story. Really, it means more to me than you can ever imagine.  
I'm thinking about making a series of one-stories with different of lemons from the Twilight? How would you like that?  
And sorry for the delay, but I've been so freaking stressed and my computer is being a total arse.  
Hope you like it, though. Hugs from the author.

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It had been a week since we went to the movies, and I just want to reassure you, nothing happened. We just kissed, like all the other times, and I still can't imagine kissing anyone but her. If I could foresee the future, I would never have guessed that I would end up with a vampire, and plus that, a female one. But still, this felt like the most normal thing to do, the most natural and 'right' thing I've ever done in my life – but I wasn't very ordinary either.

"I think I have to tell Charlie,"  
I looked at Alice who had just jumped in of the window, looking surprised by my sudden realization. I had wrapped the duvet closely around me and in my hands I was holding an old, worn out version of Romeo and Juliet. I'd been running low lately on books to read and I know Alice would get some new ones for me if I asked, but that would cause Charlie to wonder where they came from.  
"That you are turned on by an incredibly hot female-vampire?" Alice giggled, careless as ever and it caused me to smile, but I wiped it off quickly. We were never serious, me and her. It was just fun and living life to the fullest and really, I enjoyed it more than words could tell, but I had to wake up and be honest to myself and Charlie. I owed him that.  
"No. That you are back," I said while closing the book. "You can't keep sneaking in every night, not without telling him."  
I wonder if they still owned the house in the woods, the one they used to live in, or if they had sold that. But Alice was wearing clean, new outfits every day and she had never had a shower here either, so I guess I knew the answer. What about _him_?  
"Oh yeah, let's do that when he returns from work," she agreed and then sat down on the edge of the bed, looking at me. Just like always, she succeed in taking my breath away. She was stunning. How could anyone be that perfect? I guess it would always be a mystery to me.  
"And until then?" I asked, hoping we could keep it calm today and just relax. When Alice was here I didn't get that much sleep but still I have to go to school every day, just like usual. Jessica and Mike had clearly noticed my change of mood, from worse to better, but I still kept them in the dark, refusing to talk about it. I just wasn't ready and it wasn't like I was gay or anything, right?  
"Until then…" She muttered as she took the book out of my hands, threw it to the floor and then pulled herself under the covers, all at amazing speed. Her hands wandered down my body in a rush, caressing my knees and thighs. I gasped and with vampire-speed, my heart happened to race faster than ever before.  
It felt amazing, feeling her this close, but somehow I wasn't sure I was ready just yet. I mean, yes, she was wonderful, gorgeous and so mind-blowingly hot but I had to be sure. I wouldn't allow myself to get into something I would regret.  
_Or maybe you're just scared, Bella. _I pushed the voice away. Lately my subconscious has been talking disturbingly much to me and it bothered me. Maybe because I somehow, someway, knew she was right, but like I would admit it.  
I could feel Alice's breath on my neck and then the cool, distracting feeling of her feather-light kisses. They went from my jaw line and down to my collarbone, making my head all dizzy and wobbly. All at the same time, her hands were everywhere, touching me, still on the clothes. Fuck. It felt so fucking good and I had this strange urge for beg for more.  
But yes, I was afraid. I was so unbelievably scared of this. What if I would regret it and what if I messed up or couldn't satisfy her? I mean, she had hundreds years of practice and I'd barely kissed anybody before.  
"Bella, don't be afraid…" I heard her say and then noticed I'd been pulling away, tugging the duvet closer around me. How could she know?  
"I'm not afraid, why should I be?" I protested, but my fear had been revealed. I guess she could tell it from the tremble in my voice or the way I squeezed my eyes together. She was so fucking smart and right now it sort of annoyed me.  
". . Sorry Bella," she whispered and moved a couple of inches away, pulling her hands back. I didn't know why but my body felt empty, like it needed her nearness to function. Spontaneously I moved closer, cradling myself against her chest.  
"Don't go," I muttered, almost begging. I needed to feel the coldness of her body against mine, I craved it.  
"I won't, don't worry," She whispered but I could hear the relief in her voice. Maybe she felt the same way? Yearning for the intimacy the way I did. I crossed my fingers for that.  
"I am afraid, Alice… I've never done _it_ before."  
I sniffed to her, inhaled the smell of her skin. Though her body was stone-hard, her skin was smooth and soft, I thought, as my fingers brushed across her collarbone. She was absolutely perfect, no one could compare to this girl.

"Bells, I'm home!"  
I recognized the voice as Charlie's and it almost made me jump. "Shit!"  
Alice giggled and slightly caressed my locks. I was scared stiff by the thought of telling Charlie. I seriously feared the worse. He knew how much that family – or rather, that boy – had killed my spirit, and now one of them was back.  
"I'm gonna tell him. Wait here and don't move," I said firmly as I rose from the bed and pulled on a cardigan, it was freezing when you weren't laying in your bed anymore. Alice sat as a statue, not even smiling when I did but I knew she weren't mad or anything, she was just obeying my commands.  
As I went down the stairs, I tried to come up with the right words, but my mind went completely blank. What could I say that would make him understand, without him making fuzz about it? He was sitting on the couch with the TV on, reading the daily newspaper, he didn't even notice me when I walked to the kitchen and helped myself to a glass of milk.  
I sighed when I placed myself beside him and he looked almost shocked. "I didn't see you," he murmured. And he was supposed to be a cop, I thought they saw and heard everything. I shrugged.  
"How was your day?" He asked, not really sounding that interested, but at least he tried.  
"My day has been fine, dad, thanks." I answered as I forced a smile on my lips. I would be lying if I said that my heart wasn't racing and I was terrified. I leaned uncomfortably back, drawing in a deep breath. "Dad, guess who I met today," I tried to sound excited.  
He raised an eyebrow. "Who?" He turned his attention to me, watching me suspiciously. God, I already felt like I was being interrogated.  
"Alice Cullen,"  
I watched as his eyebrows formed a 'V' over his eyes that had turned completely black. He was staring at me, trying to figure out how he should react to the confession.  
"Well, that's good? Here in town? How long is she staying?" He hesitated.  
I shrugged. "Yes, here in town, but I don't know for how long. She asked if she could stay here for a couple of days," I bit my lip. I hated lying and keeping secrets from Charlie, but I knew it was necessary. She'd been staying over the last week without Charlie noticing and now it had to stop with the secrets, it made me feel like a criminal.  
"Well… Of course, Bella," he said and tried to smile wholeheartedly but somehow the smile didn't reach his eyes. He tried, he really tried to be fair and not think about what Alice's brother had done to me and I truly appreciated it.  
Out of nowhere, I wrapped my arms around him and I was just as shocked as he was. He grunted once and then patted my back before I jumped off the couch.  
"When will she arrive?" He shouted after me. "Soon," I just yelled back as I shot up the stairs, hurrying to my room. As expected she was in the exact same position as before. Happiness was flowing through me, making me all giggly and I couldn't hide it when I gave her forehead a soft, careful kiss and with no warning, she pushed me down the bed and was suddenly towering over me, one hand and one leg placed on each side of me.  
She was just staring down at me, watching me carefully when a finger traced along my eyebrow then alongside my jaw line but then stroking my lower lip. I gasped, my body reacting undeniably to her touch.  
"Kiss me."  
I heard this voice, this voice full of sensuality and passion and I couldn't recognize it but then I realized; it was mine! But how was it possible? I almost sounded. . Sexy.  
But before I could gather my mind, her lips were hard-pressed against mine, kissing me without restraining herself, but still I knew that was a lie, because if she had no control, she would be crushing me with her vampire-strength. But it was mind-blowing, she was so experienced and knew accurately what she was doing. My entire body was reacting strongly to the kiss and before I knew of it, her hands ran across my breasts, my stomach, my hips and my thighs, giving me no chance to catch my breath.  
"A—Alice, you have to … To go through the front door and say hi to Charlie," My attempt to sound controlled failed big time and the words came over my lips as a moan.  
I heard a swift buzz in my ears and then Alice was gone. I just laid there in my bed, gasping for air, trying to pull myself together, but then I heard Alice's and Charlie's voice downstairs. They were laughing. Of course, Alice was so friendly and polite, so it should come as no surprise.  
I did not even hear the steps on the stairs, she just stood there all of sudden, after something that must have been like three minutes after she'd vanished.  
"So, where did we come from?" She said seductively as she swept across the room. She was so graceful, like she didn't even touch the floor, almost ghostly. But oh God, she was real, no doubt about that. My mind could not make such hands and lips up, no way, not in my wildest fantasies, could a girl like her be created. In that second I felt so goddamn lucky.  
She leaned down and straddled me and I watched her passionately as she got closer and closer. I was prepared for the kiss, but still it sent a thousand of electric jolts through me. Would I ever grow tired of her lips on mine? I doubted that.  
"I want you," she breathed on my lips, and the hairs on my arms rose. How could I be this lucky, I didn't get it, but I was scared. I was scared to death of the thought about failing completely. I wanted her too, oh yes I did.  
"Alice, I want you too, but I'm so nervous," I managed to get out, though I could feel the heat in my cheeks. I'd never been good at telling emotions and such, it made me so awkward.  
"Let me try something and if you don't like it, then I'll stop,"

**Note: Sorry for the abrupt stop, but I don't want the chapter to be too long, so wait for the next chapter and see what happens.  
Please review... **


	13. Chapter 13 - Waiting for you

**Chapter 13 – (I have died everyday) Waiting for you **

**Author's note: **_Uh, this is the last chapter. Are you guys excited? _  
_And hey? This won't be the last fan fiction I write, but I'm gonna take a Christmas-break. And my goal is to reach 100 reviews. Before that I won't make any more fan fictions. High goal, but I reach for the sky.  
What do you guys want the next story to be about? Leave some suggestions for me in my PM or in a review_

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I did nothing but nod – what else was there to do? Slowly she moved further down, kisses tracing all along my neck, collarbone, and breasts and when she got to _there, she _placed one single kiss just above my private parts. My lower body was burning, this was unbearable, especially when she slowly but steadily unbuttoned my jeans. I gasped. What was she doing? Was she seriously taking off my clothes? And the worst part was it felt like torture because it was so slow.

"Just take it off already," I groaned.  
"Yes ma'am," she giggled and by act upon my plea, she pulled off my pants and then went to pull my sweater off over my head. Sitting there almost naked in front of Alice made me so embarrassed. I could feel her gaze on my skin and it felt good but still so transcendent. Nobody has seen me half-naked; I liked keeping my body hidden.  
"Bella, you're beautiful." She whispered. I guessed that my cheeks were burning up and I just shook my head. How could she say that when she herself looked like a goddess?  
Our lips collided once again, sweeping me off of my feet and making my knees soft. Fuck, it was unbelievable. Now it was so much easier to feel her against me, one of her knees touching my private parts and when she repositioned, I moaned. I knew she was doing this on purpose, driving me more and more mad. I just wanted to get rid of my underwear and her clothes.  
"Alice, just take it all off, please. Yours, too," I begged.  
I didn't even have time to blink before she stood in front of me utterly and beautifully naked. My private parts were tingling and I was already completely soaked. How could anyone be so unbelievably beautiful and at the same time so extremely hot?  
She leaned over me, smiling teasingly, as she with her teeth, pulled down my panties, and then threw them to the floor. I flushed. Now I was naked except for my bra. Fuck…  
I felt 1ike my privates were exploding just by looking at her beauty. Carefully I took a grip in her hair, pulling her up to me and forced her to kiss me violently. Our lips crashed together, making me dizzy, but I continued, led my hands down her bag, caressing her spine and all the way down to her bun. I grabbed it which was totally unlike me, but she had succeeded in driving me mad and I wanted her, it was excruciating.  
She reached behind me, unclasped my bra and pulled it off. I felt exposed, laying there completely naked, but nonetheless I actually liked it, which surprised me. It wasn't that bad at all.  
For something that seemed like a minute, she caught my stare, looked deeply into my eyes, refusing to let go until one of her hands grabbed my breast. I gasped. She massaged my nipple and I threw back my head in an uncontrolled moan. My entire body was tickling and I was thirsting for more, I needed it right now.

And like she could read my thoughts, her hands and mouth switched places, because now her mouth was all over my breasts, but the hand wandered further down, all the way down and spread my legs.  
"Bella…" She groaned tenderly, probably because of my wetness. I moaned. Her fingers against my soaked skin was so divine and unconsciously I pushed myself more against her fingers, whimpering impatiently for more which made Alice smile.  
"So wet, Bella…" She said like it was the most normal thing to say. How could she? My face turned red, and if possible, my heart began to beat even more violently when she began to stroke my wet flesh.  
"Ah," I groaned. It was excruciating, my body was so sensitive and I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted a release, I wanted her to make me come. This was too much of the good.  
"Please, Alice, don't tease me," I squeaked. Her eyes were sparkling, but dark with desire. She was so sexy and she was well-aware of it. Goddamn vampire, how was this even possible?  
"I'm going to make love to you, Bella, but be patient. I want all of you,"  
And with those words, she slipped a finger into me. My fingernails dug deep into the skin of her shoulders as I moaned out. It was so fucking, fucking good. It seemed unreal and as my room turned into a whirlwind, I was forced to shut my eyes. Oh fuck.  
Her finger began to move inside me and I clenched around her as I moaned out, but still keeping somehow so silent that Charlie wouldn't be able to hear it. It was so intoxicating and my body was already thirsting for more. I could hear her, too. She was just as aroused as I was – I could tell only by listening to the speed of her breathing, and how sometimes a moan escaped her throat. Oh how a sound could be such a turn on, I wondered, as I unconsciously began to move my hips in pace with the motion of her finger.  
Our lips met once again and I felt like my entire body was about to fall apart on the spot. It was just too much, the excitement, the arousal, the pleasure, just so overwhelming. But then she stopped and her lips disappeared. This made me open my eyes in disappointment – I wanted more. So much more.  
Her finger was in her mouth and it was glistering with my fluids. My eyes widened. Was she licking the finger that'd just been inside me? Unbelievable.

She smirked at me and you could easily tell she was in her right element. I wanted to complain but I couldn't find my voice, all that came out was a single moan.  
"Close your eyes," she whispered, her voice gentle but still firm, so I did as there'd been told. Then suddenly I felt something unfamiliar. A breath on my private place and then a tongue on my clitoris which made me jump with surprise. Wow—  
"Be still, Bella," she groaned against my crouch and I immediately did as she said. This feeling was so… Indescribable, so utterly intense. Her tongue gently flicking my clitoris mixed with her cool breathe, was almost pushing me over the limit. But then she slowed down, like she knew that I would orgasm if she didn't. This made me wonder; was she using her vampire-future-seeing-power to know?  
But the thought instantly faded out of my head when something entered me, her tongue still flipping my clitoris. I grabbed her hair, pulling it harder than intended, which caused her to moan against me.  
"F—fuck, Alice, it's so good," I managed to get over my lips, my fists clenching in her hair. I could feel the orgasm building up inside of me, making me moan uncontrolled as I pushed myself further against her.  
"I—I'm gonna…"My back arched as my muscles clenched around her finger and as the wave of the climax hit me, I knew I was hers. My toes curled and my head flew back, my hair falling as cascades around my head. Yes I definitely belonged to her. Rolling waves of heat coated my privates and I felt like I was hitting the rocky shores of the ocean, all that mattered, all that existed, was her, the tongue and the quickening finger. Then I fell apart; all my muscles releasing and my body went limp on the bed, gasping for breath. My knuckles were white in Alice's hair so I freed them and let them fall to my sides.  
No words could describe what I'd just experienced. The sensation, the contractions in my crouch, the sudden relief and just the entire act, I had no words. But then I realized; wasn't I supposed to satisfy her now? But how, I'd never even touched myself before, so how should I know what's going on down south?  
She pulled her finger out of my soreness and then lay down beside me, turning me so I was facing her. She swiftly kissed me, let our lips collide but not that brutally as before. Our tongues pirouetted; I could taste the sweetness of my own flavors and I reddened instantly. Our bodies tangled together, my thigh pushed up between her legs and that's when I noticed the wetness on my skin. She wanted it, too. I should do something, right?  
Blinded by my own arousal and the need to satisfy her, I rolled over her and pressed her against the bed with my weight.  
I placed kisses from her jaw, all the way to her breasts where I hesitated but still forced myself to kiss, a tiny kiss on her nipple. I gazed up at her; her eyes were closed, her mouth shaping an 'o'. So I was doing it right then, right? I bit my lip. She was beautiful, so inexpressibly beautiful that I knew that I would never get tired of looking at her, never. She was pure perfection. The softness of her skin under my fingertips or on my lips, the defined line of her cheekbone and those little, but controlled moans that escaped her throat, these things I would never grow tired of, I was completely sure.  
My lips brushed over her nipple once again, this time licking and kissing it, trying to push away the doubt and just give myself over to pleasure.  
My fingers traced over her hips, caressing them, as they slowly-paced ran further south, at last stroking her thigh, closer to her hot south than expected. I could feel the heat of her crouch and I was hit by a sudden realization; I wanted to try. I actually really wanted to try this. My fingers were tingling to touch.  
"Go ahead," I was shocked to hear her voice, but I guess she sensed my hesitation. I hurried to her lips; kissed her genuinely in a hope that she would make me forget my anxiety. And she did, just like always. She had this magic over me. When she kissed me, I felt nothing but her lips on mine. The world could shatter under my feet but still, I'd feel nothing but the pleasantness of her lips.  
So in an impulsive decision, I let my fingers and the dampness of her crouch meet. She gasps against my lips just like I did. Shit. She was wet, like, really really wet. Carefully I moved the fingers up and down, examined what was actually going on down _there_.  
Suddenly I felt her hand on mine, guiding me to her entrance, and I really appreciated her help because I was totally lost on the functions of the female – and male – parts. Her entrance was so wet and slick and it almost swallowed the finger as I pushed it into her. She groaned with arousal. God, how could this be so good? It was so arousing and pleasant to hear how she enjoyed it, felt how her body reacted to my touch – I had power over her, just like she had power over me. I'd never realized that I did to her as she did to me and I almost couldn't believe it. Bursting with courage I began pushing my finger in and out of her and I watched her as her moans grew more intense. I tried everything; I moved fast, I moved slowly, and then I turned fiercer, gasping for air. I noticed her walls clenched around my fingers.  
"T—Touch my clitoris with your thumb," she moaned heavily, almost begging. So I repositioned myself, pushing my thumb against her swollen clitoris but still with the finger buried inside of her. Slowly I began to move; flicking her, as I pushed the finger deeper in, breathing heavily against her neck.  
Her head was leaned against the wall, her eyes shut tightly as she moaned, but still rather with the volume down. She knew Charlie was sleeping downstairs.  
"O—Oh fuck Bella," she groaned into my ear, and for good, her entire body started to shake; like an earthquake rolling over her, tearing her body apart. Her fingers clutched into my back and I gasped equally with pleasure and pain indeed. I could feel her lips against my neck and somehow, I wished that she would sink her teeth into my throat.  
"Harder," she begged. So, so I did. I moved my fingers faster and faster as sweat began to appear on my forehead and back. And then, just like that, she exploded; she almost screamed when her back arched and my finger flew deeper into her. She tightened around me, as her body quaked and her eyes rolled back. And then, she lay still, only thing moving was her chest, rising and sinking rapidly.  
For a second I got worried, afraid that I'd maybe hit a wrong nerve or something but then a smile revealed on her lips and she pulled me closer, embracing my sweaty body. Carefully I drew out the finger, it was all sticky and I was seriously ecstatic about the fact that I'd made her orgasm. I almost couldn't believe it.  
"Well…" I whispered against her ear, "I don't feel so charming right now," Considering my sweaty skin, messy hair and sticky fingers, I wasn't that appealing at all.

She just giggled, shook her head. "Bella, you're beautiful and I think I really truly love you."  
Her words didn't hit me to start with, but after a few seconds, they did. My mouth fell open; she loved me? She actually fucking loved me? Or, she thought she did.  
"You think?" I murmured, my lips tracing her throat as I pronounced the words. I was on this little, blue sky, up in my own heaven of happiness. I was high on my orgasm, I was high on the fact that I, and I repeat, and I made her orgasm.  
"No – I apologize for the mistake – I know I really truly love you," She whispered.  
Just seven months ago, Edward left me, and until for around a month, I was devastated. Completely and utterly shattered. But isn't that the beauty of a broken heart? Though it may be broken by some douchebag, you just need one special person to collect the pieces. It's a tough road but when that person success, you feel light-headed, you feel insecure, but most important; you feel complete again. You forget all about what used to be and it may be overwhelming, but it is indeed beautiful, rediscovering the beauty of love once again.

"And I think I might actually love you back,"

**Note: **Did you like it?  
This is actually my first English sex-scene ever... Omg.  
Remember; 100 reviews before I make a new fan fic. Until then, see you guys and merry Christmas to y'all.


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